Save Your Marriage
Saving A Marriage In Crisis
Marriages which are supposedly made in
heaven often end up making your lives hell. It is not
necessarily the same for all couples; some have the
proverbial happily ever after marriages and you must be
the one who’d be desperately taking all measures to save
your marriage. But you obviously, don’t and as you have
come to read this entry, you are one of them. You must be
asking yourself that what is it that makes some marriages
click and some fail
miserably.
It is how negative or how positive the
atmosphere is in your house, how much you know each
other, how much you trust each other and the most
important how much you love each other. If you or
your spouse lacks in one of these pivotal qualities, your
marriage is in deep
trouble.
Click
here for expert advice
to save your
marriage
Your marriage crisis could be due to
multiple reasons or maybe just one, but first and
foremost you need to learn to identify it. The main and
the most common cause of most bad relationships is being
too jealous and wanting to control your partner’s life..
You need to get rid of that green eyed monster of
jealously and irrationality and learn to calm down. Many
a times you might also get jealous of your spouse’s
success. If you have gone overboard with the jealousy,
causing serious problems in your marriage, you need to
seek counseling of professional marriage counselors.
Remember, that there is a subtle difference in being
inquisitive and in being too nosey and jealous.Always give your spouse his
or her space.
The next reason for problems in
marriages is being unkind and rude. When in the company of
others you always try to put your best foot forward and be
polite and pleasant. So why isn’t it the case when you are with
your spouse. Being married is no reason to be discourteous. It
is not for nothing that we are taught since kindergarten the
two magic words, please and thank you. Use them as often as you
can especially when with your spouse, if you don’t want to
visit a divorce lawyer.
The worst thing that you can do
is emotionally, verbally and mentally abusing your spouse.
Abuse is totally unacceptable, no matter if you have had
a bad day at work or anything else. After all there will come a
time when your spouse, tired of all the bickering, will leave
you. Every person has some limit to his or her patience, no
matter how much they love you. During your marriage, both of
you take oath to protect each other from all odds and
difficulties, but often this is forgotten and you turn nasty,
and start abusing the same person you love.
Another common problem that couples face is inability of their
spouse to keep promises. Why would anybody like to stay with
someone who does not keep his or her word? When a person tries
his or her level best to keep promises and gives his or her
hundred percent, he or she will definitely be miffed when the
spouse fails to do so. When this continues, it will breed
mistrust amongst couples and will be the cause of your broken
marriage. Remember this, “in a marriage promises are not meant
to be broken”. Try your best to be Mrs. or Mr. Dependable, to
keep your spouse happy always.
Fights are a part and parcel of any married person’s life. It
is not uncommon, even for the happiest couples, to fight once
in a while, but you should see to it that you are not fighting
regularly on trivial matters. It is imperative that they do not
turn ugly. Resentment and grudges of past fights should not
keep on resurfacing. You need to forgive, forget and move on.
Carrying grudges makes you irritable and is not good for your
health either. Don’t be a revenge minded person, as it will
hurt your relationship and leave behind an irreparable damage.
Surely it is preferable to be humble and save your
marriage?
After marriage, your life becomes more hectic. But that
shouldn’t be a reason not to spend time with your spouse. You
should take off time from your busy schedule and be together.
You should plan about your future and talk about your
expectations. Don’t let the lack of romance, affect your
marriage and take you towards divorce.
Excess of everything is bad. Being overambitious can ruin your
marriage. You and your spouse should have a serious chat about
what you want from life. You need to support each other in
fulfilling the dreams, but when these dreams are too
unrealistic, you need to get a reality test done. Do not
support your spouse when you think that his or her dreams are
or will be impossible to fulfill. Instead, talk frankly and
tell your spouse about what you feel. Do not let your spouse
continue having false expectations and disillusionments. One
day or another you will get tired of it and this will affect
your marriage drastically and even lead to divorce.
Do not let your dreams come in
the way of your marriage. Concentrate on fulfilling short term
goals and save your spouse from despair. But this does not mean
that you should have a complete disregard for your spouse’s
dreams and aspirations. See to it that you have a strong
support system. Some dreams can come true with your support and
love.
The last, though not the only, reason for marriage break ups is
very much related to all other problems. It is the lack of
communication or the refusal to listen to anything that you
dislike. You need to share your feelings and thoughts. Do not
be afraid to voice your opinion but do not turn it into an
argument. It is very important to listen carefully to what your
spouse is saying. When you are speaking you want your spouse to
listen to every word you say. So even you should pay careful
attention to what your spouse is saying. You may not like his
or her views and opinions and may even disagree with it, but
that should not be an excuse for not listening. After he or she
has finished talking point out what you don’t agree with. Do
not fight.
-
Article by Brent Johns
If you are really serious about
saving your marriage, expert help is available and will
increase your chances of success. The best (and lowest
cost) way to get this help is by reading TW Jackson's
excellent ebook, The
Magic of Making Up. TW has already helped over 6,000
couples get back
together.
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